Posted by: thaishin | June 25, 2009

Dependency fosters closer relationship

I discovered something: The more independent we become,  the more isolated we become. At least that is true  for me as I am not a people person nor do I organize activities for people nor do I probe my nose into other people’s matters.

Last winter, my son was about to go to preschool but we had no car. Then, our neighbors just bought a car and they were willing to lend it to us for my son’s trip to preschool every tuesdays and thursdays and also for trips to the groceries. They had to sacrifice mileage on their car and sometimes they have to accommodate to us as they needed the car also.  But the dependency of the usage of their car let us have more interaction. We talked about our family relationships, about the relative recovering from stroke , about sibling working in the bank and more. We got to exchange information and got to know each other’s family better. Ever since we bought our car, our families don’t interact that often and hence are farther apart.

For me, being independent means I am more dependent on myself, my abilities, my possessions etc. Less opportunity to interact with my friends, less growth in the respective relationships. On the contrary, my dependency of some sort on my friends  draw me closer to them.

Similarly, to grow as a christian, we need to be more dependent on Christ, more dependent on the bible. Dependent on Christ/God to lead us, dependent on the bible to provide us with instructions. Then we will have a closer relationship with Christ/God.

Proverbs 3:5-6


5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.


5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.



  1. Good thought. The concept of community is important. No man is an island. We are not built to be independent and isolated. We have emotions to be met by God and by one another. God first, wife next, family, friends, associates, community, etc.

    We need to be pro-active to pursue these dependencies and relationships. Strike a conversation with our neighbors. Be sensitive to their needs, any needs. Take initiative to meet them. Be discerning. Pursue relationships.

  2. thanks Kong Wah. We have to uproot ourselves from our relationships when we start all over here in the US. But thank God even though we do not have many friends here, those new friends that we have met have been very kind to us.

  3. Thanks Thai Shin. Your thoughts are encouraging. Yes, in the old days when people live in kampongs, everybody depended on one another. I still remember that when I was growing up, we always go to the neighbour’s house to borrow their phone, while they come to my house to watch television. Nowadays most of us are so independent that we forget to relate and build relationship. Thank God for emails and social networking websites. :-)
    God bless.

  4. those were the days, Boon Choon …

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