Posted by: thaishin | February 6, 2012

Say this to mean that

As parents, we are important examples through which our children may see Christ-likeness. The other major environment which shapes my son’s behaviour is school. We have placed him in a christian school in the hope that he may be exposed to christian culture.

I am exposed to american culture a bit and also to american christian culture by listening to the christian radio program. I am concerned for my son that he does not understand absolute principles. When I say A, I mean A. When I mean B, I say B. But within the broader american culture, when they mean A, they say B to mean A. We live here in america and one day my son is going to work here and maybe marry here, he will have to say B to mean A. But I am concerned for him because I want him to learn absolute. I want him to say A to mean A also in addition to being able to say B to mean A.

In one incident, he was saying something to me. With a change in phonetics, he meant it a different meaning, perhaps in a disrespectful way. When I confronted him by asking him if he meant A. He said no. After much talking to him and later in time, he subtly admitted that he meant A by saying B. Whenever there is subtleness and it is disrespectful, I will always have to confront him so that when he say B to mean A, he will have to say A to mean A to me or at least admit his fault even if it is by saying B to mean A to me.



  1. Thank you for sharing this piece.

    I acknowledge the importance of integrity, and be clear about what we say, where we stand, and mean everything we say…

    However, we do live in ambiguous times, and it is also important for us that while we are innocent as dove, we must also learn to be shrewd as a snake. This is a sinful world after all….

    • Hi Kong Wah,

      Sometimes, I think that I am in denial of the times that we live in. But as you said, it is important that we mean what we say. I can just do the best that I can as a parent and leave the rest to God.

      Thai Shin

  2. Perhaps, check with him if he has picked this up from someone in school, and if so, who.

    • Hi Kf,

      I think it is difficult to control who he associates with in school thought it might be good to know.

      Thai Shin

  3. I think it is wonderful that you and Ellen have selected a Christian School to educate your son. A Christian School is the ONLY way to go unless parents can or wish to do home schooling. This is hard to do when mother is a working in health care profession (changed).

    There will be another large decision when it is time for high school. There are not as many senior high schools as elementary schools. Children can experience a very difficult time if they are raised in a Christian School and then enter a US High School (Public School). They change from living with Jesus to entering the suburbs of Hates…that is how our public schools are today.

    Therefore your son will need “to know the way” so to speak when finishing elementary school because afterwards in public high school he will be forced to study “Satan”s Topics & Subjects.” Try to have a good Christian High School Selected and hopefully by then A will be A.

    If we are fortunate Christ will have returned before that need!

  4. Hi Thai sin,
    Sorry for not seeing you the last time you were back. Anyway, the topic that you brought up is not unsual but it does worries us a parents. We worry about what our child is learnng and picking up outside the safety of our home. I have a 17 year old girl now and initailly I panicked when she stated primary school. Unlike you, I have no choice of a christian school but a public one! God knows what is she picking up and learning in school. I am talking about the other kids, not what the school is teaching. With all the malays, the indians and all the non-christian! It is going to be chaos! I prayed to God.
    To my horror, she came home everyday the first week with many vulgarities! I was horrified but then I prayed and as my mind became clearer, I talked to my girl calmly and explained what each of these words mean. If the words are only in english, it could be easier for me to translate, but these words came in various dialects. Some are disguised as “nice” words that you would’nt even think twice about. Kinda like the Micheal Jackson song “Bad” which actually means good! The so called “cool” kids has their own language and they also uses SMS words to speak to each other. Good grief! Not only I have to be aware of the usual “bad” words but all the new one those kids invented as well!
    Somehow I felt I was prepared for this for a long time. Let me explain, I too goes to a gov.public school and most of my shoolmates/classmates are of different races and upbrings. I learned and picked up “bad” words from them! Fortunately my family, especially my Dad, he, as a christian man, he does all the explaining to me and the implication of what happen if I use these word freely. I got beat up once because I said some words that is not too pleasing to that other team members and my team got into a brawl and got suspended from a competition! From that point onward I am always watchng what I say especially when I am upset or angry! So, I can’t advise you on what you should do because the location that you are in is different from our Asian culture. Americans hold dear to their constituitional rights and freedom of speech. Which to me means they can say what they like, literally! All you and me can do is pray that our children have God on their side through out their life and that only God can truely guide them. We, as parent can show by example, a careful and precarious example! Remember, the child is also human and are born with sin and into sin. As parent, we are like a taxi driver. Our child is the passenger, we just drive them because in the end, we cannot control their final destination. Only God can. Amen.

  5. Thanks Robert and Harry for your comments

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