Posted by: thaishin | March 8, 2012

Trimming Down

One of them did not accept my facebook friend’s request but he’s still posting in facebook. The other did not call back after I left a phone message having called him twice. The other did not write back my emails to him. These are real people that I have met face to face and have interacted with personally for a period of time. One of them is a church friend. Another a former neighbor and the other a friend I met in primary school. So I find myself trimming down my email contacts.
Sounds depressing. But it’s ok. It is a fact of life that we lose some friends as we journey on in life. Sometimes we do not know why they left and do not want to be contacted. I will still say hi to them if I met them again but to pursue deeper roots I don’t think so.
Could it be me? Maybe I could be a better friend but I have to admit I am not a very relational kind of person. But again in this life, how many true friends can we have? Or could it be because of changing circumstances? Then what has changed? But fact is they left without a word and it hurts.



  1. There will always be those who don’t respond. I get hurt at times too… for example, un-returned phone calls, countless un-picked up calls (most cellphones should have caller IDs right) etc etc…

  2. You are not alone. It happens to me all the time :-)

    When you look at a person who supposedly have a lot of “friends”, you sometimes wonder at how many of these are friends in the true meaning of the word (as in how Jesus define them, e.g. john 15:15) or just mere acquaintances.

  3. Thanks Tiat Leong and kongwah

  4. Hi Thai Shin,

    Thanks for sharing this post. Hope Chee Wai and I are not one of those you mentioned..hahaha.. just joking. It is sometime difficult due to changing lifestyle to keep up communicating with all our friends. I have friends from long time ago whom I haven’t had any communication for years.. but when we start communicating again,.as if time stops between us…In my case, I just have to give the benefit of the doubt when I don’t receive replies from my friends, maybe they have valid reasons. I just have to remind myself that true friendship should surpass all circumstances..



  5. Your comments are about the same way I feel. Where did everyone go? I remember so well in 1960 during my high school sophomore year a statement made by my English teacher. He said…”when each of us arrive at the time of retirement we will be VERY fortunate if we have (2) true REAL friends.” He said he would describe a friend as someone who would do almost anything for us short of dying. I remember that statement so well and I believe it is so true. We must remember everyone is so busy or think they are so busy that there is no time to visit or call a friend and never time to do a kind deed for one. Time is found for watching TV and playing in front of the computer. Friends change and some move away. Some may have big troubles in life and then pull away from most friends. There are so many reasons that each of us lose friends…even sickness. Let us remember the old traditional song in most church hymn books called “What a Friend We Have In Jesus.” We always have one who will never leave us and will always understand us. Let us each remember “him” by living for him and putting Christ First in our Lives.

  6. Thanks Luz and Robert for your encouragement

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